


One Night

by pinetree13



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-05-14 10:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5740312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinetree13/pseuds/pinetree13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River Song would burst into his life at the most unexpected times, leaving just as abruptly as she had arrived. She was always gone in what seemed to him like the blink of an eye. It was never enough. But now he had 24 years. Twenty-four years to admire her, to speak with her, to hold her. Twenty-four years to try to love her like he knew she deserved to be loved. (Spoilers for THORS. This is a story about the Doctor and River's adventures while on Darillium.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for River/12, but I just couldn’t resist after seeing the Christmas special. (In other words, this story contains spoilers for The Husbands of River Song.)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who.

_Twenty-four years._

Theoretically, River Song should have been overjoyed at the notion of having so much time left, even if it was only considered to be “one night.” However, as she lay awake in the dark, luxurious room to which she had been led, she couldn’t help but feel trapped.

She glanced around again, as she had done at least a hundred times in the last hour. Vaulted ceiling, thick velvet curtains, oversized bed—to anyone else, these would have seemed to be the possessions of kings, or at least the very rich. But as River had spent a fair amount of her life in a cell, she could not shake the idea that all of this was a bit excessive. After all, what was this place but just another prison?

No sooner had she thought this than she felt herself being pulled into the warm arms of the man beside her. “Trouble sleeping?”

“What makes you say that?” She knew that she could never lie to him, yet that wouldn’t stop her from trying.

“Well, for one thing, you’re not asleep.” Damn. He had a point there.

“It’s nothing, dear. No need to worry.”

However, the Doctor wouldn’t let the subject drop that easily. River was one of the strongest people he knew. If something was bothering her, he wasn’t just going to ignore it. “River,” coaxed, slowly moving a hand to brush away the mane of hair from her neck. He could hear her sharp intake of breath as he placed a gentle kiss to the soft skin he found there.

As soon as she felt his teeth begin to sink in, she cracked. She turned to face him, immediately pulling him in for a long, deep kiss. When he pulled away, she was both surprised and breathless.

“That’s better,” he smiled. “Now tell me, what exactly is bothering you?”

“Twenty-four years,” she stated simply.

The Doctor looked confused. “Yes… twenty-four years. You have twenty-four years of night before daybreak. Twenty-four years to do whatever you’d like.”

“Except that’s not true, is it?” The more confused he looked, the more upset and anxious she felt herself becoming. If he was truly the genius that everyone knew him to be, then why couldn’t he see this? Her voice became more frantic. “You said that _I_ have twenty-four years on this planet, which means that you plan on leaving, don’t you? You say that I can do whatever I’d like, but that’s simply not true. The most amazing points in my life are those moments when your timeline collides with mine. So why would you assume that what I’d ‘like’ is for you to leave?”

She could see the wheels turning in his head. Maybe he’d truly never thought about this before, or maybe he had and was just trying to figure out the right words to say. “You always chose to leave. I didn’t think…”

Although he didn’t finish his thought, River knew exactly what he was going to say. He didn’t think that she _wanted_ him to stay.

“I chose to leave because in those days, I had the whole universe at my disposal. Galaxies upon galaxies just waiting to be explored. But now, all I’ve got is this planet. You know I can’t leave, you must know. It seems like I’ve only just left Stormcage, and now I’m back in yet another prison. Only, this time, I have some consolation.” The Doctor raised a quizzical eyebrow. “You’re stuck here with me.”

Obviously, he hadn’t thought this through very well. Confusion became quiet shock as he uttered the only word he could: “What?”

“Oh, dear,” River smirked mischievously, her panic now subsiding at the Doctor’s dawning comprehension, “didn’t you read the legends? No, I suppose not. You’ve probably already lived them. But if there’s one thing I seem to recall reading over and over again, it was that the Doctor spent the entire night on Darillium with his wife. At the time, that didn’t seem too significant. After all, what’s a few hours to the man who’s lived for centuries? But twenty-four years, that must seem like a while, even for you.”

The Doctor’s expression hadn’t changed since she’d been talking. River could practically hear the gears turning in his head as he processed this information. Finally, he answered, “Oh, you should never read stories about your future. Spoilers, remember?”

“Doctor, you’re avoiding the topic.”

His jaw clenched. She was right, of course. She always was. Somewhere deep down, he knew that he had no choice but to stay; however, looking for a way out was practically second nature to him.

But now he found himself at an impasse. Because he wasn’t even sure if he _wanted_ to find a way out. Sure, it was 24 years that the universe would spend without him to defend it. But then again, he’d stayed stationary for much longer, and nothing too terrible had happened. The universe still carried on in its eternal motion, and everything had turned out fine.

And as he looked at River now, as he took in her beautifully crafted features, he realized just how lucky he was to even have this opportunity. River Song would burst into his life at the most unexpected times, leaving just as abruptly as she had arrived. She was always gone in what seemed to him like the blink of an eye. It was never enough. But now he had 24 years. Twenty-four years to admire her, to speak with her, to hold her. Twenty-four years to try to love her like he knew she deserved to be loved.

Maybe this wasn’t so bad, after all. In fact, maybe it was fantastic.

“Doctor?” River asked, her tone gentler now. “Doctor, please say something. I didn’t… I mean… of course you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. It was just a silly story, nothing more. I just thought… maybe this world wouldn’t seem so small if you were here.”

“Yes,” the Doctor answered. It was a short, simple statement, but its delivery came with a hint of finality.

“Yes?” River asked, surprised. “Yes, what? Yes, you agree with me, or yes, you’ll stay?”

The Doctor smirked. “Yes.”

She was stunned. Whatever she had expected him to say, this was not it. Her eyes filled with tears as she slowly began to grasp the importance of his answer. Relieved laughter rendered her speechless until she finally caught enough breath to gasp out. “Yes?” as if she still couldn’t believe it.

The Doctor had found himself laughing right along with her, partly at the nature of her reaction, and partly because he simply couldn’t contain it. But as soon as they had both regained their composure, he reached up to cup a gentle hand to her face. “Of course,” he whispered, his thumb caressing her cheek. “River, I would spend a hundred years with you, if you’d let me.”

“Well,” River smiled, “let’s start with twenty-four, and then see how we feel.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read the last chapter. I hope to make this a longer story, so thanks for sticking around.

The next morning brought no dawn, no daybreak, only the enduring sunset that had lulled them to sleep. No doubt it would be quite some time before the true night even began. For now, the entire planet was suspended in what seemed like eternal dusk, all at once blinding and brilliant.

“Good morning,” River greeted the Doctor, who had just opened his eyes.

“Good evening,” he replied, sitting up as he blinked away the sleep. Now, however, he realized that River’s voice had not come from beside him, where he would have thought her to be. Rather, she spoke from the arched doorway of their new bedroom. “Hang on, when did you wake up?”

“Oh, several hours ago,” she answered, moving slowly closer to him, her bare feet cold against the marble floors. “I figured you wouldn’t be awake for a while, so I decided to go exploring.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, looking her up and down. “Exploring?” She nodded. “In nothing but… that?” he asked, motioning toward her paper-thin nightgown.

“No one seemed to mind,” she shrugged. “In fact, I think they seemed rather happy.”

“I’m sure they did,” he muttered, crossing his arms like an indignant child.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” he answered quickly, deciding to change the topic. “So what did you find?”

“I was a bit disappointed, actually. I mean, this place is huge, but there’s nothing that the TARDIS doesn’t already have.” She couldn’t help but notice that the Doctor looked almost smug at this comment. “Which reminds me, why aren’t we staying in the TARDIS again?"

“I told you,” he sighed. “We’re supposed to stay on _this_ planet, not in what is basically another dimension. Plus, we’ve got great accommodations here. They seem to have appreciated my little investment in their restaurant. This place is practically a palace! Besides, staying in the TARDIS for long periods of time would just make it more tempting to leave. And believe me, I’ve been considering it since the moment we set foot here, but I just can’t. Not this time.”

Of course, River understood his reasoning, but she didn’t have to like it. Even so, sneaking in to the TARDIS had practically become second nature to her. If she really wanted to, she could pop in any time she wanted.

The Doctor got out of bed now—as River tried to keep herself from laughing at his comical TARDIS blue boxers—and made his way over to the closet. “Oh, and don’t even think about breaking in. I’ve installed a new security system that would take years—no, decades!—to decode.”

River frowned. Even though that probably only meant “hours” to her, it was still more time than she wanted to spend. Besides, she doubted that the Doctor would trust her enough to be alone with the TARDIS for that long anyway.

In a few short minutes, the Doctor emerged from the walk-in closet wearing his usual style of assorted black clothing.

“Don’t tell me you synched the closet here with your TARDIS wardrobe,” River mocked.

“Didn’t have to,” he answered, smoothing out his jacket. “It seems this place was already imbued with a certain sense of style.”

“You and ‘style’ are not two things that should be mentioned together.”

“You can talk,” the Doctor smiled, nodding again to her nightgown.

“Easily fixed.” At this, River walked over to her bag, which she had placed on a bedside table. She dug around for a minute until she found the tiny spray bottle. With one push of the nozzle, she was adorned in an outfit that was both beautiful and practical, in typical River Song fashion.

The Doctor’s brow furrowed. “That’s cheating.”

“Well, if you’d like, you could take it off and find something else.”

After all this time, and no matter which regeneration he was in, she still knew just how to make him blush.

“As…” he cleared his throat, “ _fun_ as that sounds, we should probably get down to business.”

She smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Well now, I think we’re finally on the same page.”

“No,” the Doctor said a little too quickly, shaking his head. “I mean, I think we should probably figure out how we’re going to spend the next twenty-four years. Make a plan.”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from traveling with you, it’s that you hate plans. You never stick to them.”

“Ah, yes, but other people stick to them.”

“Only when you threaten them. And even then it’s hit-and-miss.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong. “Okay, fine, but this is different.”

“How so?”

“This is twenty-four years. To some species, that’s a lifetime. And I’m not saying that we should make some in-depth diagram that precisely maps every move we’ll make for the next two and a half decades, but we should at least have some idea of how not to die of boredom.”

“So you agree?”

The Doctor was confused now. “Agree to what?”

“You agree that staying on just one planet for several years is boring.”

“Of course it is. I never said it wasn’t.”

“You do remember Stormcage, don’t you?”

His brow furrowed now. This was one topic that he hated discussing. He couldn’t stand the thought of River being punished for something as inane as a crime she hadn’t committed. “That was your choice, remember? Between me breaking you out and you escaping, you left practically every night anyway. But you always insisted on returning.”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” She waved a dismissive hand. “What I’m trying to say is that this place—this whole planet—seems a little too close for comfort. Except this time, there is no breaking out, no escaping.”

“Ah,” said the Doctor, finally grasping what she was saying. “Now that’s why we need a plan. So we don’t spend the years pacing back and forth in one room of one house when we have the entire planet of Darillium at our fingertips.”

“Screw the plan,” River finally stated with conviction. “We operate best in spontaneity. It’s more fun that way, and you must know that.”

Of course he knew that. He was the Doctor. Spontaneity was his middle name. Not literally, of course. Although, he did spend a moment contemplating how cool it would be if his middle name really was “Spontaneity.” Doctor Spontaneity.

He shook his head, forcing himself back into reality. “Right, yes, you do have a point. But-”

“But nothing,” she cut him off. “This planet has grown a lot over the last few years. That little diamond has turned the Singing Towers into one of the universe’s hottest tourist destinations. This place is teeming with activity. And where there’s activity, there’s adventure. Just think about how many people here must need you.” He started to argue, but she continued. “Look at what I’m offering here. I’m saying that I will gladly fight with you for the next twenty-four years, rather than running off to augment the crime rate. And all I’m asking in return is for you stay with me and take things as they come. How’s that for a ‘plan?’”

The Doctor thought about it for a moment. “Your plan is that there is no plan.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Exactly.” She held out her hand. “What do you say?”

At first, he just stood there, staring at her hand, lips pursed in contemplation. Finally, though, he relented. “You’ve got yourself a deal,” he smiled slightly, shaking her hand.

River just laughed. “It’s like you’ve forgotten how to seal a contract.”

With that, she pulled him into a kiss that, in the Doctor’s opinion, seemed a little too intimate for a business transaction. But he wasn’t complaining. He had a feeling he was going to enjoy his time here on Darillium.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone reading!

“The Intergalactic Marketplace of Darillium!” the Doctor exclaimed, motioning out toward the bustling mass of vendors and various species.

“Seriously?” River asked, eyeing him in disbelief. “ _This_ is where you want to go on our first day here?”

“Every day is our first day here.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Oh, come on,” he said, trying to buoy her spirits, “this place is great! Ever since Darillium has become a fully developed tourist planet, this Marketplace has been the largest trading hub in the nearest three galaxies. It goes on like this for miles.”

“And I suppose you want to see all of it?”

He gave her a look as if to say that the answer to this question should have been obvious. “Well, we _do_ have twenty-four years.”

At this, he entered the throng of activity, with River following reluctantly. “And do you actually have any money to spend here?”

“We’re here to look, not shop.”

For the first time since they had gotten there, River perked up. This would have worried the Doctor, if he hadn’t been so enthralled with a stall of assorted alien souvenirs. What she saw now was a challenge. He really should have known better than to take a professional criminal to a marketplace without money. It was like a game laid out specifically for her. 

As soon as she had ascertained that the Doctor was definitely not paying attention to her at the moment, she was gone, blending in perfectly with the stream of shoppers. And once she was out of his sight, she took off at a sprint, dodging angry creatures as she went.

Eventually, though, she had to stop to catch her breath. At this point, she guessed that she’d probably run about a mile. She had to admit, even though the Doctor had a tendency to exaggerate at times, he wasn’t joking about the size of the Marketplace. She still couldn’t tell when or if it ended. 

She smiled mischievously. Yes, she was absolutely, completely lost. Perfect. Now all she needed were valuable items to steal.

 

Meanwhile, the Doctor found himself in a very stimulating conversation with the vendor of the booth that had so thoroughly distracted him.

“Yes, the red one is very nice, but something about the blue one is just… better.”

The man responded with a series of clicks that the Doctor could obviously understand.

“Yes, yes, I know the red one is higher quality, but in the end, what does that even mean?”

A reply came in the form of more clicking.

“You do make an excellent point there. I suppose in that light, the red really isn’t that bad. River, what do you think, red or blue?”

When no answer came, he turned around to look for her. However, she was clearly nowhere near him. There was no sign of her trademark curly blonde hair anywhere. “River?” he called. But it was useless. The chatter from the shoppers drowned him out in a sea of voices. “River!” he shouted, louder now. But of course, no answer came.

He just stood there. For once, he had no idea what to do, or if he should do anything at all. Sure, it was a bit dangerous to be lost in a marketplace as large as this, with no idea of where you’re going, but this wasn’t just anyone. River Song could handle herself in any conditions. He considered that the vendors should really be the ones who needed to worry. They were in more danger from her than she was from them.

Still, he decided that he should probably find her. He quietly noted that it was a good thing he’d read the tourism guide after all, no matter how useless River had thought it was at the time. Because now he knew all the ins and outs of this place, every twist and turn, every shortcut. He knew where the most valuable items were sold, and he had a feeling that she had discovered this as well.

 

Sure enough, it hadn’t taken River long at all to find the one stall that appeared to be of any real value. Every other vendor was selling handmade knick-knacks from their home planet, but this one happened to have the only real jewels she’d seen so far. Even as she thought about the most effective way to steal them, she had to consider how ironic it was that the price of all of these gems combined was worth more than the Halassi Androvar diamond that had cultivated this planet. She may have lost that fortune, but she’d certainly found another greater one.

However, she could tell from looking at the humanoid shopkeeper that she was going to have some trouble. “If you don’t have the money, get out. We’ve already had three robbery attempts today, and we don’t need another one.”

“Oh, I’m not here for the jewels,” River purred flirtatiously as she reached inside her bag to grab the tiny tube of lipstick, applying it as she moved closer to the vendor.

He gulped. “N-no?”

“Okay,” she began, grabbing ahold of him, “I may have lied.”

But it was too late. River kissed him, and as the hallucinogenic lipstick started to work its magic, she pushed him away. Taking the key from his belt, she unlocked every drawer, emptying their contents into her bag.

She was feeling rather proud at the moment. In under two minutes she had cleaned out what was probably the most expensive stall in three galaxies. She almost wished the Doctor had been there to see it. Granted, he would have been vehemently protesting the robbery and trying to stop her, but she liked to think that he would have been at least a little bit impressed.

Once all the gems had been successfully stolen, she turned to leave. However, she had only taken a few steps before she heard the sounds of shouting behind her, most notably the word “security.” Sure enough, she could now hear footsteps running toward her. Without even thinking, she broke out into a sprint. But that didn’t deter her pursuer.

As she ran, she began to realize that further she went, the denser the crowds became, until the pace of the surrounding shoppers had slowed to a crawl. There was no elbow room, let alone room to run. She pushed through the thick horde as best she could, but it was clear that whoever was behind her had the tactical advantage. As soon as she had forced an opening in the crowd, a path began to form behind her. It was only a matter of time before she was caught.

As the footsteps got closer, she began to feel like she was moving through a nightmare. The evil, looming force behind her crept ever closer with ease, while she struggled even to move her legs. She’d had this dream on many occasions, but this one just refused to fade. Reality’s tricky like that.

Her pulse quickened, adrenaline pumping, panic starting to set in. Her ability to shoulder through the throng of people became sloppy with haste, and one misstep sent her tumbling to the ground, face down. The crowd formed a small circle of space around her, and she knew that the pursuer was here. But she wasn’t going down without a fight. Instinctively, her hand went to the Alpha Meson holstered at her hip, as she stood to face her fate.

“River!” the Doctor panted, trying to catch his breath. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Her eyes widened with realization, and for the first time in what felt like ages, she began to relax. “Doctor? _You_ were the one chasing me?”

“Yes. I tried calling your name, but I suppose you probably couldn’t hear me over all the noise.”

She shook her head, relief turning to confusion. “Hang on, I heard the word ‘security.’ I thought they were going to arrest me.”

“Someone did call security. I told them I was security, but we only have so long before the vendor starts to regain his sense.”

“Hang on, you’re helping me escape. You’re not angry?”

“ _Of course I’m angry!_ ” he shouted, arms shooting into the air. “I’m livid! But I’d much rather track you down myself than let one of those trigger-happy guards do it.”

River threw her arms around him in a quick, relieved hug. “Thank you.” It wasn’t something she said often, and she didn’t want to make a habit of it, but sometimes those words were just necessary.

The Doctor nodded in acknowledgement. “It was nothing. But you’ll still have to return those gems. You know that.”

River had already begun shaking her head before he had even finished speaking. “No. No way. It’s too late. If I return them now, they’ll send me to prison. You know they will. I can’t do that again. Even if I escape, where is there to hide on only _one planet_? It would be like finding the world’s largest needle in the world’s smallest haystack.”

The Doctor had known this was coming, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating. “Look, even if you do keep them, it’ll be obvious that you stole them when you try to sell them. Darillium’s guard will just be waiting to see them being sold so they can arrest you.”

She threw her hands up in indignation. “So what do you propose we do, then?”

He stared at her for a moment, as he decided on a solution. Finally, he spoke up. “I’ve got it: we leave the Marketplace like nothing ever happened, then, when we’re out of sight, we can just leave them. The guards will have seen the shop by now, as well as the shopkeeper, who’s probably still counting nonexistent sheep, thanks to you. If anyone asks, he just snapped one day, left all the jewels in the middle of nowhere. We were never here.”

River’s brow furrowed as she considered his idea. “It’s not the best plan you’ve ever had, but it’ll have to do. I can’t go back to prison.”

“And I wouldn’t let that happen anyway.”

Something about the way he said this sent a jolt of warmth through her, serving to calm her still-jittery nerves. “Come on, then,” she said, taking hold of his hand. “Let’s go home.”

With that, they made their way back, hiding their faces as much as possible. When they had exited the Marketplace and felt that they were alone, River emptied her bag of its recent additions, and the guards were none the wiser. But they couldn’t relax now. Not yet.

In fact, it wasn’t until they were safely in their new bedroom, doors barred behind them, that they finally let out a synchronized sigh of relief. They slumped against the large wooden doors and slid to the floor, exhausted.

“Was that adventurous enough for you?” the Doctor asked, sarcasm heavy.

“I give it a seven out of ten,” she smirked.

He rolled his eyes, yet couldn’t help but smile. “And what, might I ask, would warrant a ten?”

A dark chuckle from her caused the Doctor to look over. She met his eyes, hers full of mischief. She leaned in until her mouth was just an inch from his. “Would you like me to show you?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who’s commented! This chapter is a bit more T than the others, so I hope you like it.

“So what exactly should I be looking for?” the Doctor asked as he and River explored the canyon at the base of the Singing Towers.

“It’s a massive boulder with an ‘x’ carved into it. Believe me, it would be hard to miss.” She held her scanner up to the stone cliff faces, hoping to detect signs of the massive cave system that were rumored to reside inside.

“And suppose we did find this boulder. How exactly are you planning to move it?”

River rolled her eyes. “I told you, we have to focus on finding it first. Then we can work out the details.”

All day, the Doctor had been sulking, and it was starting to get on her nerves. But if he truly expected her to stay on just one planet for 24 years, he had to have known that she would be restless with the typical tourist attractions. She was first and foremost an archaeologist, after all. So today she had finally been able to convince him to join her on an expedition through Darillium’s supposedly vast network of caves and tunnels, which had been documented on only one previous occasion, by the same team that had marked their entrance with the “x.”

The Doctor had tried his best to feign enthusiasm for this search, he really had. But the truth of the matter was that unless he suspected some suspicious behavior to be going on within the cave system, he would just as soon be back at their new home, designing some overly complicated and unnecessary gadget or rewriting a comprehensive history of quantum mechanics. Walking through caves was the same as walking through a tunnel, just with different rocks.

Finally, he decided to take out his screwdriver and perform his own scans of the environment. In a matter of seconds, he called out to River. “Aha! Found it!”

“Excellent!” River called, sprinting over.

He had to admit, as much as he didn’t want to be here, it was at least somewhat worth it to see the excitement on River’s face. Usually, he only saw it when they were in life-threatening danger. He never really had time to appreciate it properly then.

“But the problem still remains,” the Doctor said. “How are we going to move the boulder?” River opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “And don’t say explosives. We are not using explosives. The last thing we need is to lose a few years in prison for defacing a natural landmark.”

“As tempting as that sounds, I was going to say that we don’t need to move the boulder at all.” When the Doctor gave her a quizzical look, she pulled what looked like a regular gun from her bag.

He looked at it in shocked disbelief. “A squareness gun.” River nodded proudly, amused by his expression. “Where did you get that?”

“I have my ways,” she winked, turning away from him to point the gun at the rock. With just a pull of the trigger, a square pathway had been carved into the boulder, facilitating their entrance into the cave system.

River blew the tip of the gun. “After you, Sweetie,” she smirked, motioning to the square hole.

The Doctor—trying, but failing, to look unimpressed by her skills that he likened to breaking and entering—stepped through the stony pathway. She followed close behind him as she dug out the flashlight from her bag. When she flipped the switch, the light illuminated the cave in which they were standing, revealing it to be as big as a ballroom.

Her jaw dropped. “It’s-”

“-incredible,” the Doctor finished.

River couldn’t help but smile to herself. She had known that all she had to do was take him here and let him soak up the planet’s natural beauty. Of course he was reluctant to go at first; she didn’t blame him. But he was the type of person who never failed to see the beauty in everything. Everyone.

“Come on,” River said, checking her scanner again. “I think there are more this way.”

With that, they began their trek through the tunnels. River stopped to inspect every feature or stone that looked remotely interesting, even taking samples at some points. The Doctor, on the other hand, was less scientific in his approach. Rather than careful inspection, he greatly preferred to touch everything and lick the rocks that were of specific interest to him. He’d found that it amused River to see him name the exact composition of the rocks from a single taste.

However, as they started wandering through side tunnels, they found that the walls began to narrow, almost to a point. Eventually, they had to turn to the side and shuffle just to move forward a few steps.

“River,” the Doctor began, “as interesting as this is, I think we should head back now. Or at least choose a different tunnel. This one is a bit tight.”

“But don’t you see it?” she asked, pointing the flashlight beam into the space ahead of them. “We just need to get a little farther. Once we get to that opening, the path gets wider. Just a few more steps.”

“It’s impossible,” he stated. “That hole is so narrow that it would be a challenge to get your arm through, let alone your entire body.”

“Watch me.”

At that, River reached her arm into the opening, successfully shedding light into the cavern beyond. “You see?” she smiled. “Just takes a bit of determination.”

“Right, okay, except that was just your arm. There’s no way you’d be able to fit through there. No one would.”

“We’ll see about that,” she said, straining to move closer to the hole.

However, after a couple minutes of struggling, she began to realize how useless her attempts were. As she mumbled something about “finding another way in,” she began to pull her arm out from the opening.

Suddenly, everything went pitch black. An echoing _thud_ could be heard bouncing from every wall.

“River?” the Doctor asked with exaggerated calmness.

“Yes?”

“Would I be correct in assuming that we are now stuck in a cave without a light?”

“Well, dear, that does seem to be the situation.”

“I see. And how exactly do you suppose we’re going to get out?” At last, his true frustration had shown itself again.

There was a moment of silence, followed only by her reply. “…Squareness gun?”

“Too risky. Any one of these walls could be keeping this entire system standing. Remove the wrong rock, and the entire Darillium cave network comes crashing down, with us insi-”

He was cut off mid-sentence by the feeling of River’s hand cupped to his face. The next thing he felt were her lips against his.

“I know I don’t usually say this, but do you really think that now is the right time for that?” The Doctor asked, frustrated.

“You’re right,” she said, moving her hand to entangle in his hair. “You don’t usually say that.”

He wanted to argue, but it was always so hard for him to resist her advances. He melted at her every touch, no matter how much he liked to think he didn’t. In cases like this, he found that his only natural defense was to talk his way out. But more often than not, this came out as rambling. As he spoke, River’s hands explored his body in order to compensate for the fact that her eyes couldn’t. His words came out in shaky bursts.

“This is all very good and everything, but we do have some pretty… pressing problems to address, the first being that we are stuck in a cave with which we are not familiar. The second being that we have no light to help guide our exit. So you see, we should really be focusing on finding a solution, rather than doing… this.”

“You’re right, Sweetie, that would be the logical thing to do. But you should know that I’ve already thought this through. I always have an exit strategy. I’d thought we might be able to have a little fun before I actually had to use it.”

The Doctor was so distracted that he really only caught bits and pieces of that. He definitely heard the word “fun” in there somewhere. He found himself nodding before realizing that she wouldn’t be able to see him anyway. So instead, he brought his lips to hers, and felt her smile as if with simultaneous victory and pleasure. Her hips thrust to his, pinning him against the rocky wall as she kissed him ever deeper.

His hands flailed awkwardly for a moment before finally settling on bringing her waist closer to his. But although he drew her closer and closer, he felt the sensation that she was never close enough. He heard her moan softly into his mouth, and now it was his turn to smile.

“Shut up,” she laughed.

“Make me.” It came out a little more seductively than he had intended, but River wasn’t complaining.

“Oh, believe me I will,” she grinned. “But I say we get out of here first. Beds are slightly more comfortable than a cave wall.”

“Yes,” he coughed. “Right. Good.” He was silently thankful that she could see nothing through the impenetrable darkness. “And what was your ‘exit strategy,’ again?”

“Really, Doctor, I’m surprised you haven’t thought of it yet.”

“If you hadn’t noticed, I was a bit distracted.”

“You do remember that you have a screwdriver, right?”

“…Right,” he whispered, embarrassed that he hadn’t thought of this sooner. “Of course.”

With that, the small space became illuminated with the glowing blue light as the sound reverberated off the walls.

“Ah yes, that’s better,” River smiled, taking his free hand in hers as she began to lead him out of the tunnel. “Now, I’d hurry out if I were you.”

And as much as he hated taking commands, this was one that he simply couldn’t refuse.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's commented or left kudos! This chapter's a bit more angsty than the others, so just a heads-up.

“Well this is just perfect,” River complained, motioning to the rain-streaked window.

The Doctor came to stand beside her as she stared out at the unrelenting storm. “Nights may last twenty-four years, but the weather is always changing. There’s nothing I can do about that.”

She turned to face him. “But we were planning to go to the Imperial Statuary today.”

“So we’ll go tomorrow,” he shrugged. “Besides, there’s nothing wrong with having a nice day in every once in a while. Sometimes relaxing can be an adventure.” 

“I don’t know how ‘relaxing’ this is,” River said, crossing her arms. “Something about hearing constant storms outside your barred cell window makes the sound of rain slightly less endearing.”

“Right,” the Doctor stated simply, embarrassed that he hadn’t considered this fact. “Well, there’s still plenty of things that can be done indoors. Especially in a house like this. I’m sure we can find something.”

There were a couple moments of silence, followed by River suddenly exclaiming, “That’s it!”

The Doctor just looked at her in confusion. “What is?”

“Just stand there, close your eyes, and count to one hundred. When you open them, you can try to find me.”

“Hide-and-seek?” he asked skeptically. “That’s your big idea?”

“Oh, come on,” she goaded. “You never know what you might find.”

The Doctor tried his best to ignore the fact that his face had turned completely red, but he nevertheless answered, “Okay, fine. One round. Then I choose the game.”

“Done,” River smirked. “Now, close your eyes. And no peeking.”

Reluctantly, the Doctor did as he was told, counting out loud to satisfy her. “One… two… three…”

As soon as he could no longer hear her heels clicking against the smooth floors, he opened his eyes. He’d stopped counting once she was out of earshot, but he thought that enough time had probably elapsed by now. Besides, River would never know the difference.

Slowly, he began to meander through the house, checking every nook and cranny that was possibly big enough to hide someone. At first, he hadn’t really expected to find her easily. After all, she was practically an expert at evading capture. However, once an hour had passed, his searching became more frantic, more thorough. Despite the fact that the house was huge and had many rooms that he had not yet checked, he was starting to feel as though he might never find her. Of course, he knew that this was a ridiculous notion, but time was going by too slowly for his comfort, and more than anything, he just missed talking to her. Conversations were much more fun when they didn’t take place in his own head.

Eventually, he came to one of his favorite rooms in the house: the library. Like everything here, it was large and grand, second only to his TARDIS library. Rows upon rows of books lined the towering walls, reachable only by wheeled ladders. In the very center of the room, standing in stark contrast to the extravagance of its surroundings, was a modest little sitting area, complete with cushioned chairs and a couch.

However, it wasn’t the furniture that caught the Doctor’s attention; it was the woman sitting on it. Although the couch on which she sat faced away from him, he would recognize hair like that anywhere.

“Hello, Sweetie,” he called, unable to resist the greeting.

“What took you so long?” she teased.

He walked over to where she was sprawled out on the couch. However, as he approached, she sat up to make room for him.

“Well, you did choose to hide in a room at the opposite end of the house.”

“Yes, but only because I assumed that this would be the first place you checked.”

“And why exactly would you assume that?”

She smiled knowingly at him. “Because I figured that this was where you’d want to end up.”

Surprisingly, he couldn’t help but note that she was right. For as long as they’d been here, this had been the one place where he could go to truly unwind. It was quiet, peaceful; and for some reason, it comforted him to know that he could stay here for 24 years and never read every book in that room. There would always be something new to learn, something more that could be discovered.

“You’re right,” he stated simply. “But now, since I’ve found you, it’s my turn to choose the game."

“Game?” River asked, confused. “I thought you’d just want to sit here and… _relax,_ ” she breathed, nestling in close to him.

“Normally, yes, but I feel like there’s something we need to discuss first.”

“And what exactly might that be?”

He smiled at her like a child whose infantile scheme had run perfectly according to plan. “Truth or dare?” he asked smugly.

River laughed in amusement. “Really, Doctor? Aren’t you a bit old for this?”

“I’m a bit old for a lot of things,” he answered. “Now, truth or dare?”

“Alright,” she smirked, deciding to play along. “Dare.”

“Really?” he asked, not expecting this answer. “Dare?”

“Of course,” she nodded. “I never back down from a challenge.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “Then I dare you to pick truth.”

“That’s cheating."

“Oh, and River Song would never break the rules,” he teased, sarcasm dripping from his every word.

She had to admit, he had a point there. She’d never really been one for “rules.” They just got in the way of her fun. So, since he’d been a good sport about the long search to find her, she decided to indulge him. “Okay, fine. Then at your request, I choose truth.”

“I had a feeling you might,” he smiled. However, in the next moment, his face became serious, almost worried. “Now, tell me what’s been bothering you.”

River looked shocked. Whatever she had been expecting, it wasn’t this. “I- I don’t know what you mean,” she stammered. But lying was a lot harder to accomplish without preparation, even for her.

“You know exactly what I mean,” the Doctor answered, never breaking eye contact. “Ever since we landed on this planet, there’s been something wrong. I know you don’t want to admit it, but I can see it in your eyes. It’s always there. And since we’re going to be here for a long time, you might as well tell me now, before it gets to be too much. Believe me, whatever it is, I can handle it. Besides,” here, he paused, attempting to cheer her slightly, “you know the rules.”

Tears were welling in her eyes, despite how much she was fighting to keep them down. She had always hated for him to see her cry. “And what makes you think I would follow the rules?” At this, she got up to leave, but the Doctor caught her hand, a gentle invitation for her to stay.

She just stood there for a minute, facing away from him while tears flowed down her cheeks. As she fought an internal war over whether to run or sit back down, she eventually settled on the latter.

“It’s okay,” the Doctor said softly, his voice practically a whisper. “Whatever it is, it will be okay, I promise.”

“Can you, though?” River asked accusingly, bringing her emotions under control once more. “Why did you stay here with me? Was it because you had to? Did you feel guilty?”

His brow furrowed as she brought these accusations to him. “I don’t understand.”

“Do you remember the first time we met on Darillium, the day we watched the Towers sing?” The Doctor nodded uneasily, and she continued. “The things you said to me—what you told me—you basically said…” Here, she had to stop to compose herself. These were words that had played over and over in her mind, like a broken record, but they were impossibly hard to articulate. Perhaps it was because she feared that uttering them aloud might solidify them, as if forcing her to grant them even more truth than she already did. However, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and persisted. “You basically said that you didn’t love me. That you never had.”

Each word felt like a physical blow to the Doctor, like lead hitting his chest again and again, depriving him of breath. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. River’s eyes opened again to look at him, and she continued once more.

“I understood then, and I understand now. But understanding is different from accepting. Doctor, those words were like _knives_ to me. But you would never know that. I would never let you know that. But you asked, so I’m telling you…. That’s what’s been bothering me.”

The Doctor stared at her for a moment, still unable to speak as he began to formulate a response. There were so many things he wanted to say, and no right way to say them. However, that wouldn’t stop him from trying. Eventually, though, he managed to get two words out: “Of course.”

River eyed him quizzically, not exactly sure how to feel about this answer. “Of course?”

“You asked me if I stayed here with you because I felt guilty, and my answer is, ‘Of course.’” He could tell that River was starting to get angry at this response, so he spoke up again before she could reply. “Of course I felt guilty that you were stuck here. I know it’s my fault, and I know that this isn’t fair to you, but it’s the way it had to be. But I never thought that you would think that that was the _only_ reason I stayed here. Of course it wasn’t.”

Now, he paused to collect his thoughts. Eventually, he decided to approach the topic from a different angle. “River, look at me. I’m not the same man you fell in love with. I’ve changed. Almost everything about me has changed. The most distinctive thing about me is that I will always change. And you’re wrong in saying that I never loved you; I did. But the thing about changing is that I get to fall in love with you all over again, as a new man. I realized that that was a lot to ask from you, and I would never want to pressure you with something like that. River, it is my sincere wish to spend every second of the next twenty-four years falling in love with you, and I can promise you that is the truth. But it’s your life, not mine. It’s your choice.”

River could only stare at him in astonishment. She had expected another speech along the same lines as the one he had given her that evening at the Towers. This was entirely different. Maybe she had misunderstood, or maybe his words had been misleading, but whatever the reason for the lack of communication, she was more than glad to see it resolved. Even so, it took her a moment to decide just how to react, although she had narrowed it down to either anger or joy.

The Doctor could see this battle playing itself out in her head, and all he could do was hope for a favorable outcome. But after what seemed like centuries of waiting, he finally got his answer. River’s lips collided with his as she threw her arms around his neck, wrapping one leg around to straddle him on the couch. His arms flailed for a moment—as they always did—before finally wrapping around her, a gesture of comfort.

“You’re not angry.” It was a statement, not a question, and he could only hope that he was not mistaken.

“I nearly was,” she answered, breathless. “I very nearly was. But if you’re telling the truth, then I can think of nothing I’d rather do than fall in love with you all over again. I know it’s not easy. It never was. But there are certainly worse ways to spent twenty-four years.”

The Doctor looked at her as though this was the first time he’d ever seen her. As he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, he said, “Of course that’s the truth. From this point on, no more lies.”

River smiled, gently at first, but then evolving into that mischievous River Song grin that he loved so much. “Good,” she whispered, “because it’s your turn. Truth or dare?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the great feedback! I’m always open to adventure ideas.

“As promised: the Imperial Statuary,” the Doctor said, motioning to the wide expanse of carved rocks before them.

River, ever the archaeologist, immediately took out her scanner to gather background information on each individual piece. “I thought you said Darillium was a democracy,” she noted while meticulously checking her results. “So why is there an ‘imperial’ anything?”

The Doctor spent his time admiring the works of art, rather than evaluating them. “No, I said Darillium is a _pluto_ cracy. Ever since we brought the diamond here, it’s been that way. The people with money hold the power. But it hasn’t always been that way. What you see here are just remnants of a recently-forgotten empirical era.”

River took a moment to glance up at him from her scanner. “And you do realize that we’re not only the cause of the change, but judging by our house, I’d say we also hold a good amount of power.”

“I try not to think about it,” he answered, disgust dripping from his voice.

For the next few minutes, the Statuary was silent as they took in the beauty and history of the statues. Eventually, the two of them found themselves separated by several rows of sculptures, each moving away to look at different pieces they found interesting.

However, a noise soon caught the Doctor’s attention. River’s scanner had begun to beep; the sound was soft at first, but then became more and more frantic as it was ignored.

“Doctor?” River called. “You might want to take a look at this.”

The Doctor—in a state of both confusion and mild anxiousness—jogged over to where she stood clutching her scanner.

“What is it?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

“See for yourself,” she answered, showing him her device.

The screen showed a proximity radar with a single blinking red dot, a single enemy hidden somewhere near them. Alone, that would not have worried the Doctor. One opponent was easy enough to avoid, especially when the two of them were armed with a sonic screwdriver and River’s Alpha Meson gun. But then he checked the rest of the readings, and he could almost feel his hearts stop. The screen read:

SPECIES: WEEPING ANGEL

There was no mistaking that, and there was no avoiding it either. The good news was that there was only one. The bad news—which, frankly, seemed to far outweigh the good—was that they were in a statuary. Any one of the works that they had walked past could have been a living, breathing creature. Any one of them could be potentially lethal.

“River,” the Doctor began, speaking with exaggerated calmness, “how close would you say we are to the angel?”

“Close enough for it to be within our field of vision,” she stated. “Every so often, it stops. If we couldn’t see it, I’m sure it would still be on the move.”

“Good point. Next question: is it closer to us than we are to the exit?”

At this, they both looked back in the direction from which they had come. “It’s hard to say…” River began, but as she looked back at the scanner, her tone became more panicked. “No, no, it’s definitely closer to us now. And it’s not in the direction of the exit. As soon as we looked that way, it moved closer. Our best bet is to find out which statue is the angel. Then, we can work backwards from there.”

The Doctor considered this, speaking aloud as he had a tendency to do in life-threatening situations. “Find the angel before it finds us, using our sight as a defense mechanism. It’s dangerous, but it’s the best we’ve got.”

“It’s moved again,” River cut in, never taking her eyes from the scanner.

Meanwhile, the Doctor had already begun making deductions about the location of the angel. “So we know that it’s not in the direction I was just looking. And it can’t be in the direction of the exit…. Okay, I’m going to turn in a circle without blinking. We can narrow down its proximity by monitoring when it moves.”

River nodded, keeping her attention concentrated on the scanner, so as not to interfere with the Doctor’s results. He began to turn slowly, and the angel moved. However, in the next instant, it stopped.

“Stop!” River called, indicating that he was facing the right direction. “It’s somewhere over there. Don’t blink.”

She moved to stand beside him, following his line of vision. A quick glance at the scanner told her that the angel had not moved.

“River.” The Doctor’s voice was low and serious, almost solemn, as he spoke. “I’m going to do something now, and I need you to trust me.”

She looked at him with uncertainty, as she knew that anytime he said those words, nothing good would happen. “What are you going to do?”

“Just trust me,” he repeated.

And as much as River hated to admit it, she did trust him. “Fine,” she answered. “Just don’t do anything too dangerous.”

“No promises,” the Doctor whispered under his breath. “Now, I need you to keep your eyes fixed on the scanner. Whatever you do, keep looking at the scanner. I’m going to blink.”

River began to protest, but he spoke up. “Please, I need you to trust me.”

After this, she didn’t say anything. She knew that he was being overly reckless, but she also knew how stubborn he was. If he wanted to play the hero, there was no stopping him. And although it might kill her to see him constantly throwing himself in harm’s way, sometimes she had to concede that it was just one of the occupational hazards of being a time traveler. So she focused her eyes on the scanner, took a deep breath, and simply said, “Okay.”

At that, the Doctor closed his eyes for just a split second.

Everything that happened in that instant raced through his mind at a million miles an hour. He recalled the action of blinking, of feeling his hearts beating out a panicked rhythm in his chest. He recalled hearing the sound of shuffling in the half-moment that his eyes were closed. He recalled opening his eyes to see a weeping angel clutching the lapel of his jacket. Finally, he recalled a sense of total dread washing over him at that moment, as he felt the creature’s stony grip.

In contrast, the next second was pure confusion. The weeping angel had touched him, but nothing had happened. If it needed to feed, he would have been sent to the past by now. If it needed his body, it was by well within range to have killed him already. But he wasn’t dead, and neither was River…. River!

Upon realizing that he had not yet checked on her current state, he looked over at her. But her reaction was the furthest thing from what he had expected. Not only did she appear to be completely unscathed and unafraid, but she seemed to be… laughing?

And as he realized that he should be watching the angel, he looked back to find that it too was laughing. In a confused panic, the Doctor looked from River to the angel again and again until he grasped what had just happened, his face reddening as he realized he’d been tricked.

The “angel” released its grasp, and the Doctor smoothed his lapels in annoyance. River, who was practically in tears from laughing by this point, pulled a folded bill from her pocket and handed it to the man dressed to look like stone.

“Thanks again, Francisco. That was perfect!”

Angel Francisco pocketed the money and walked away, amused and triumphant.

“And what exactly was all that about?” the Doctor asked in frustration, his pride having taken a hit.

As soon as River had stopped laughing, she wiped the tears from her eyes, took a deep breath, and said, “Well you see, I met Francisco that day we went to the Market. He’s a member of the local acting talent, and when we spoke, he said he’d do just about anything for the right price. How could I refuse?”

“So you decided to dress him as a weeping angel and program your scanner to assign him a different species?”

“There were a lot of complexities involved, yes. But I did have quite a lot of time to plan while waiting for you in the library yesterday. You can’t blame me for going a little overboard.”

“So you faked your reaction, as well as the readings on your scanner, but there’s still one thing that doesn’t add up.” River waited amusedly for him to explain. “As soon as I blinked, Francisco was there. Humans aren’t that fast.”

“You’re right,” she shrugged. “They’re not. But he didn’t need to be fast, just close. He was right in front of you the whole time. You only assumed he was farther because that’s what I told you. And didn’t we already conclude that my scanner readings were false?”

The Doctor clamored around for some other argument that might save his pride, but he eventually found that his attempts were useless. River Song had outsmarted him again, and he would be better off just accepting that fact.

“Fine,” he sighed, scowling. “You got me. Are you happy now?”

“Immensely,” she smirked. “But I think we’ve seen enough statues for one day, don’t you?”

The Doctor gave a slight nod of agreement. “More than enough, I’d say.”

“In that case, let’s return to our Palace of Plutocracy,” she smiled, knowing how much this would annoy him.

Sure enough, he winced. “We’re not calling it that.”

“Come along, Your Highness.”

“And you’re not calling me that! ‘Mr. President’ was bad enough.” However, as soon as the words had left his mouth, he knew that they would have been better off unsaid.

“‘Mr. President?’ I didn’t know you were called that, but I’m _certainly_ using it now.” With a wink, she turned to lead the way out of the Statuary.

The Doctor was at least glad that she was in front of him and therefore could not see him blushing. But as much as she toyed with him and created plots for her own amusement at his expense, he couldn’t help but be impressed. Not everyone could outsmart him, but River Song could do so every day of the week and still have the time and energy to flirt relentlessly after the dust had settled. If he was to spend the next 24 years falling in love with her all over again, he silently noted that he was making extraordinary progress so far.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the relatively late update. Finals season is a mess. Anyway, this chapter is a bit longer and more action-oriented than the rest, so I hope you like it. Thanks as always to everyone reading!

“You should have just left well enough alone. Then we wouldn’t be in this mess,” the Doctor said as he began to pace back and forth over the echoing stone floor of their bedroom.

“Hey, I offered to buy the painting. I only took out the gun when they said I couldn’t.”

“And what made you think that Darillium’s most illustrious art gallery wouldn’t be filled with guards?”

At this, River crossed her arms to accentuate her annoyance. “Of course I knew it would be guarded. Heists just wouldn’t be as fun otherwise.”

“You know, you’re lucky they let you go this time. We haven’t even been here a year, and you already have a reputation.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” she smirked.

“When it means getting arrested, yes. Obviously.”

“You’re just focusing on the negatives and ignoring the positives here: they let me go. I’m not in prison.” She spoke the last sentence slowly, accentuating every word.

“Yes,” the Doctor said softly, more to himself than to her, as if he had to think about this for a moment. “You’re not in prison. You tried to rob a priceless art gallery at gunpoint, but they let you go. Why?”

“Because I asked nicely. Does there have to be a reason?”

“Yes, because for one thing, I know when you’re lying. And for another, I know how justice works, and it doesn’t traditionally involve the criminal being released. Unless…”

“Unless what?” River asked. However, her voice betrayed how halfhearted her attempts to deceive him had now become. She was sure that he knew that she was lying by this point.

“Unless you arrived at some sort of deal. A caveat of your release. What do they want from you, and how do they intend on insuring you follow through with it?”

“Okay, fine, you got me,” River conceded, mainly because she was getting tired of hearing him guess everything before she told him any of it. “They said they could guarantee my freedom in exchange for tracking down an escaped convict. As for insurance, they gave me this.” She lifted up a portion of her dress to reveal the monitor strapped to her ankle.

The Doctor thought for a moment as he stared at the monitor. Then, he turned back to River. “What do you know about this ‘convict’? Do you have a name, address, anything to go on?”

“What?” River asked, surprised that he was even considering this option. “We’re not actually going to do this, are we?” When the Doctor didn’t answer, she continued. “I’ve broken out of the highest-security prison in the universe more times than I can count. Why should I let some tiny police force on Darillium tell me what I should and shouldn’t do?”

“River,” the Doctor sighed, frustrated that this was her natural reaction, “think about our current situation. Every day, we’re able to do whatever we want, and why is that? Because we’re not renegades. If you break out this one time, we’ll be running from the law for the next twenty-four years. Is that really how you want to spend our time here?”

“There are other cities on Darillium.”

“And what happens when we’re hunted there too? Aren’t you tired of running?”

River took several moments to consider this. She had to admit, he had a point. All her life had been spent running from one thing or another. When she wasn’t running with the Doctor, she was escaping the guards of Stormcage. However, that was something that she hadn’t had to deal with for a long time now. And no matter how much it pained her to admit it, she liked living a life that didn’t constantly require her to hide and cover her tracks. Here on Darillium, she had a nice house, many opportunities for adventure, and even someone with whom she could share it all. Did she really want to sabotage that for the sake of having some fun?

“Fine,” she finally sighed. “We’ll do it your way. But not because it was your suggestion.”

The Doctor smiled anyway. He’d still consider this a victory. “Good. Now, what evidence did they give you?”

“Not much,” River answered, pulling out her scanner to review the information. “His name is Maxwell Cane. Arrested for the theft of many priceless gems that he claimed to have found near the Market, not stolen.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” the Doctor stopped her, holding up his hand. “So we’re hunting this man for a crime that was yours to begin with?”

She couldn’t help but answer with a cocky smirk. “I never said the Darillium penal system was perfect. Or even adequate, for that matter.”

He wanted so badly to lecture her about the injustice of this whole situation, but then he remembered that this was River Song. More often than not, morality lessons were lost on her. So instead, he just internalized his frustrations and allowed her to continue.

“Anyway, he escaped just two days ago. That’s all that I was given.”

“And we’re supposed to catch a criminal based on that alone?”

“Well, we also know that he can’t have gotten far.”

“Two days,” the Doctor stated. “That’s more than enough time to get a third of the way around the planet!”

“Ah, but he wouldn’t.” River left the sentence to hang in midair, waiting for him to pick up on her train of logic.

He turned over her words a few times, and she could almost see the gears moving in his head. Finally, he got it. “Of course!” he said. “Oh, that’s good. That’s very good.”

River couldn’t help but smile at this level of recognition. After all, these were words that the Doctor very rarely said to another person. Still, she kept listening as he began to think aloud, as he had a tendency to do.

“Anyone capable of breaking out of prison so seamlessly that they can’t easily be found must be smart. He would know that running or returning home would be fatal mistakes. For one thing, the nearest city besides this one is at least a three day journey. But he has no interest in running. No, someone as smart as him would be trying to take advantage of the system. They would be looking for some compensation for their troubles. They would want to finish what they started. Which means that we don’t need to know where he is.”

“Exactly,” River cut in, looking positively smug. “We only need to know where he _will_ be. And I can guarantee that that will be somewhere in the vicinity of the gems he ‘found.’ No hunting required. He’ll come to us like a moth to a flame.”

“And where are the gems now?” the Doctor asked.

“Evidence storage, room C,” River answered without even so much as a glance at her scanner. When the Doctor gave her a disapproving look, she retorted. “What? You didn’t think I would just leave my jail cell without doing a bit of investigating, did you?”

Now it was the Doctor’s turn to look smug. “I thought you weren’t going to investigate?”

River realized that she had slipped up. She’d let the Doctor see that maybe he was actually rubbing off on her, that he was beginning to have some small amount of influence on her reckless lifestyle. Her only defense was to change the subject. “Come on,” she said. “We have a thief to catch.”

With that, River led the way to the police station. Once they had arrived, they found that breaking into the facility was the easy part. The hard part came when they arrived at the door marked “Room C.”

“Wait,” the Doctor whispered, holding out his hand to keep River from entering. “Do you hear that?”

After a moment of silence, she heard the noise he was talking about. A soft rustling came from inside the room, just quiet enough not to arouse suspicion from the officers that seemed to be fairly oblivious to their surroundings.

River, ever the criminal mastermind, glanced around her, looking for any telltale signs that the person inside room was the man they were looking for and not some random officer that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Look!” she finally said, pointing to the security camera that surveyed the hallway.

“Oh, that is good.” Even now, the Doctor couldn’t help but admire the ingenuity of their target. He toyed with the tiny metal contraption that had been wired into the camera system, but did not remove it. “It’s a feedback loop,” he explained. “He’s set it to play the same five minutes of footage over and over again. That way, he can slip in and out without arousing suspicion. Whoever Maxwell Cane is, he’s brilliant.”

River just rolled her eyes. “Okay, if we could stop admiring him long enough to put him back behind bars, that would be great.” At this, she drew her gun. “I’m going in. You stay out here, in case any guards decide to drop by.”

The Doctor crossed his arms, his face betraying just how much he didn’t want to do as she had said. Typically, he was the one giving orders. Granted, most people didn’t follow them, but nevertheless, he was still fairly unaccustomed to not having to answer to anyone. “And why would they arrest us? They know we’re after Cane.”

“But Cane doesn’t know we’re after him. Any commotion from the guards could set him off. Just wait here, like I said.”

And as much as he hated to admit it, she was right. The only thing he could do now was stand there and wait as River burst into the room, gun drawn.

“Maxwell Cane,” she began, training her Alpha Meson on the man who stood before her. “I have to say, this was a lot easier than I had hoped it would be.”

Cane was a tall, thin man in what appeared to be a nice suit. From what River could tell, he seemed to live a fairly extravagant lifestyle. But surely that sort of luxury comes at a price. It was no wonder that he was stealing to survive. And as seeing as how he was good at it, she couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous.

“Ah, Professor River Song, isn’t it?” His question was greeted by a look of surprise and confusion, which he answered with a laugh. “Yes, I’ve read all about you. So many legends. I should have known that they would send you to track me down. Although, I didn’t think you were the type to tether yourself to one place for so long, but no matter. From one criminal to another, how about we make a deal? I disable your ankle monitor, you let me leave with the gems, and we can both continue our game of cat-and-mouse with law enforcement. Sound good?”

For a moment, River paused. His offer was extremely tempting, and she would be lying to say that she hadn’t seriously considered this option herself. However, she couldn’t help but remember that the Doctor was standing right outside. She knew how he felt about her lifestyle, and although that normally wouldn’t mean much to her, she felt something stopping her.

“No,” she finally answered in a shaky voice.

“What was that?” Cane asked with genuine surprise.

“I said no,” she stated, firmer this time. “I’ve finally got a life here. A real, normal life. And while that doesn’t mean I’ll completely give up on the stealing and shooting, it does mean that I don’t particularly want to keep running if I’m confined to just one planet. So I’ve got a new deal for you: I shoot you, drag you into the most secure cell on this planet, and use you as leverage for my freedom.”

“Shoot me?” he scoffed. “They need me alive. _You_ need me alive. You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

“Alright then,” he said, overconfidence dripping from his every word. “Go ahead, shoot me.” In a show of mock surrender, he closed his eyes and held his arms up, an easy target.

“Be careful what you wish for,” River smirked, pulling the trigger.

As soon he had heard the sound of gunfire, the Doctor rushed into the room. “River! What have you done?” He rushed to the side of the man lying on the ground.

“Don’t worry,” she said, holstering her weapon. “He’s only stunned. He’ll be conscious again in about an hour.” Even the Doctor couldn’t object to that. “But until then, we should probably get him in a cell. My guess is that it won’t hold him for long, but he’s not my problem anymore. I’ve done my part. Now, it’s time to get out of here.”

Practically on cue, several officers rushed into the room, drawn by the sound of a gunshot. “Boys,” she smiled, “I believe I’ve found your man.”


End file.
